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Saturday, April 24, 2010

The Blessing of Pain

Yes that's right, the BLESSING of pain. I have had a rough week this past week, and spent a lot of time thinking about pain and the purpose of it. I either had to look at it as a blessing or a curse. There is a quote I found a few years back that helped me put my pain in perspective.

"Contentment is essentially a matter of accepting from God's hand
what He sends because we know that He is good and therefore it is
good." ~Author Unknown

Everyone has a choice to see every circumstance as a positive or negative....a blessing or a curse. I am a child of God and believe that He allows pain to have a closer walk with Him.

Since being diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, I have been blessed with friendships of courageous, strong, and amazing women. With these women I am able to share my journey of this illness. They encourage, pray for, and support me. I in turn am blessed to share their journey's as well and lift them up in prayer. If not for FM I would not have these amazing women in my life, and they are true blessings.

My pain is teaching me to not take things for granted. Life is too short to sit around and complain. Even with the pain I am determined to live my life the way God intends, to the fullest, and for Him. I am learning to take full advantage of my "good" days and appreciate every moment in this life.

My parting thought is a favorite verse from Matthew.

Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows. ~Matthew 10:29-31

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Painful Lessons

Humans are stubborn, plain and simple...we want to do things our own way. So sometimes God has to teach us a lesson the hard way. As hard and painful as these lessons can be, there is a purpose behind them.

I know that my physical pain is teaching me everyday. I have to learn how to accept my limitations, be patient with people when I am in extreme pain (not always easy) and rest.

Accepting my limitations is a hard one. I know that all humans have limitations but sometimes having FM presents more of a challenge than what I am used to. For instance, I work 3rd shift, 12 hour shifts 3 nights a week. I have been doing this for almost 5 years. Now when I first started, I could work all night, stay up the whole next day and work another job, then after working go babysit my little sisters. All of that in the span of 24 hours, no problem. It is difficult for me to know that now I only work one job and have a hard time just doing that. I get mad at myself when I have to call my boss and complain because I am working 3 nights in a row. When I do this I often feel lazy or like an annoyance. Along with the physical pain is the dreaded fibro fog. That to me is the hardest thing to live with day to day. I used to have a great memory. I was the spelling champ of my family, my mom would rely on me to remember important details while we were out running errands. Now I am lucky if I can remember my own name some days.

Throught these limitations though, I am learning that God is good and He knows my limitations. Jesus wants to carry my burdens for me, all I have to do is hand them over. I am learning that if I do my best, I can rely on God to take care of what I could not.

Dealing with other people is a challenge for me. When I am in a lot of pain or having a major fibro fog, trying to deal with others feels almost impossible. I find that I just want to retreat into myself, and cut off contact with the world. That is not always a possibility though, no matter what situation someone is in, dealing with other people is a fact of life. So when I am faced with the situation of other people I find that I have to fight irritation, anxiety or sadness. What emotion I fight depends on the situation I am in at the time.

I must remember though to deal with others with love. If Jesus could treat His persecutors with love and kindness while He was in excruciating pain, then I should treat people the way Jesus did. This is a lesson that will be ongoing for me.

Rest is a good thing. God rested on the 7th day. When fibromyalgia is a fact of life, rest is vital. For me this ties in to accepting my limitations. I don't like to think about my day and try to decide if I will have the energy to get through the day, or if I'll need a break. Everyone needs rest, I am learning that I need more than the average person.

These lessons are ones that I will probably need to learn a few times. But God is faithful and will guide me through these lessons.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

God is in Control

God is in Control...It's a simple phrase isn't it? Yet it is often a hard concept to grasp. As a Christian it was drilled into my head that God is in control, and we should accept it and not question His ways. Unless you're living in la la land and have had no struggles or trials, you're going to wonder what God is up to. As a human I believe it is perfectly natural to question what God is doing.

Living with a chronic illness will make anyone want to know how the rest of their life is going to play out. I know that I often seek God out and try to understand why I was handed this challenge. As I am wondering though, there is also a certain....peace that I get. God is in control, again simple phrase right? Yes...and no. Knowing that God is in control gives me peace because He is my Heavenly Father and has my best interests in mind, even if I don't think so. Humans have a tendency to want to be in control though, and I am no exception. I want to take charge, know what my future holds, and make my own way. When it comes to my fibromyalgia, I know there are certain things I shouldn't do, and things I can do to minimize the symptoms. Those things don't always work though, FM is a tricky illness and often unpredictable. Just like life...

As I think back over the last week I can pick out where I obeyed God and followed His ways, and there are times I did my own thing...thinking I knew better than Him. You know what I found out? God really does know better. Even when my FM is concerned. I tried to handle a stressful situation without bringing my problems to Jesus, and my pain shot up to an 8. The next day I started my day out by seeking wisdom in God's word....and the pain went down to a 3. Incredible! Amazing! Wonderful! That is what God is, and He wants to take our cares, guide us through our challenges, and love us through our pain.

This coming Sunday is Easter. I am reminded of the pain and suffering Jesus went through because of His love for us. He endured false accusations, persecution, crucifixion, and death, separation from God for all of us. That is true love. Because He loves me so much and endured all of that, I know that He cares about my day to day life. He knows the pain, tiredness, and confusion that FM sufferers deal with. He understands....

With FM comes a daily battle, I call it an invisible battle, but thanks to our Creator, it is a battle we do not have to fight alone. We have a Defender who wants nothing more than for us to turn to Him and ask for His help.

God is in Control...

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Why is Faith so important?

Since this is my first blog entry, I thought it appropriate to start out with why faith is such an important element to dealing with fibromyalgia on a daily basis.

To me, faith and fibromyalgia go hand in hand...without knowing that there is an eternal life waiting for me and relief from the constant pain and struggle of this illness, there are days that I would not even want to get out of bed. But because I know that I have Christ on my side and that there is a purpose behind my daily battles, it is easier to deal with fibromyalgia day to day.

Some people may not agree that faith makes any difference, but I truly have found that when I bring my burdens to Jesus my stress from daily life is far less, in turn allowing me relief from fibromyalgia symptoms that would be aggravated by stress.

We were not promised an easy life, instead we are given the chance to live in eternity with Christ. While on this earth everyone is faced with trials and challenges that are meant to help us learn lessons, grow, and make changes that we need to make. If having a life long illness is what is required for me to grow closer to my Heavenly Father, then I will endure my day to day life with my eyes and heart focused on eternity and the promise of seeing my Savior face to face.

Since this is my first blog entry, please be kind in any feedback that is left....thank you.